How to survive as a SAHM
As of mid-July, I reached my one year anniversary as a SAHM. After moving from Washington DC to MN due to my husband's job, I resigned from my position as a legislative aide. I am by no means an expert in this area, as I only have 1 toddler and one on the way. However, I do feel like i have fallen off the bandwagon a bit at following my own advice, so I thought writing it out and expressing it on my blog would provide motivation to start again.
Here are my 6 tips for first surviving, and then thriving, as a SAHM. (NB: This is long, and likely beneficial for just me, who needed to think through and type out my ideas concretely!)
1. Have a routine
2. Take care of yourself
3. Let go of control
4. Plan ahead
5. Use social media wisely, but don't forget the those IRL.
6. Continue nurturing your interests
#1 Routine
My first bit of advice is to have a routine (not a schedule). A routine where you do the same thing in the same order every day.
This one is so hard for me. I don't really like routines, as it can quickly become monotonous to me. Same thing over and over. Clean the kitchen, do the laundry blah blah blah. Where the change? where is the thrill?
And then I remember this quote, from G.K. Chesterton:
-Wake up, shower/dress, prayer time
-Play time: The early mornings are really the best for my family to get out of the house. M is still napping in the late morning, so I try to get out of the house between 830 and 1030. This often includes: Mass, the gym, a playdate/mom's group,the park, errands/grocery store, or even a simple walk around the block.
#2: Take care of yourself
Everyday, I try to shower, wear something nice (ie, not yoga pants or pajamas all day, but a top, bottom and one accessory and a little makeup.) I feel 100 times better when I do this small little step. If I am dressed, I will be happy to go for a walk, to the library for story time, or even study something. Wearing sweats all day, for me, is extremely demotivating and I rarely get much done on these days. If that is not an issue for you, do what works!
Read, call a friend, take a break, and pray each day!
#3: Let go of control
Last winter, I had a really hard time leaving the house. Sure, a large factor was the polar vortex hitting the country, but part of it was a mix of my laziness combined with my need for control in the house. I have not yet solved this little riddle, but I am getting better.
What do I mean?
I hate leaving the house when it is a mess. i have walking in to a living room strewn with laundry/toys/books that M pulled out, etc. I hate walking in and seeing my dining room table cluttered. I hate walking in and seeing dirty dishes lying in the sink.
And for many months, my hatred for these things kept me from being social and going out of the house. Story time is at 9:45 a few times a week (at different locations) but if I woke up late or had a lazy morning, breakfast dishes were not done and the living room was usually already a mess of toys. This frazzled me, and we would not make it to story time (or many mom's groups.) I finally decided: ENOUGH. If I have to come back to an untidy house, so be it! My daughter deserves to see other kids, hear stories, run around outside.
I have finally given up on having an perfectly tidy house, and we are enjoying summer and playing so much more because of it.
#4 Plan Ahead
This is mostly in terms of meals. At the beginning of each week, watch the sales and make a menu and shop according to what you have on hand and what is on sale. Knowing what you will make each night, and having a rotating plan for lunches is a serious life saver and peace-keeping trick in our house. Also, don't be surprised that you find that you spend a lot of time in the kitchen either planning or cooking and cleaning up. :)
#5 Use social media wisely.
I am a sucker for facebook. I am part of a few "mom's groups" and I have made friends and learned so much from being a part of these. However, if I do not set time limits on myself, the day can easily slip by where I have spent too much time online. Remember your baby will only be small once, and the time you spend playing and enjoying her/them is an eternal investment, whereas conversing online is not. I'm not saying to cut it out, but just be diligent on how and when to use it. If you find you are connecting more with your online friends than those in real life, or not calling friends and family, reevaluate.
#6 Don't forget your own interests.
to be continued!
Here are my 6 tips for first surviving, and then thriving, as a SAHM. (NB: This is long, and likely beneficial for just me, who needed to think through and type out my ideas concretely!)
1. Have a routine
2. Take care of yourself
3. Let go of control
4. Plan ahead
5. Use social media wisely, but don't forget the those IRL.
6. Continue nurturing your interests
#1 Routine
My first bit of advice is to have a routine (not a schedule). A routine where you do the same thing in the same order every day.
This one is so hard for me. I don't really like routines, as it can quickly become monotonous to me. Same thing over and over. Clean the kitchen, do the laundry blah blah blah. Where the change? where is the thrill?
And then I remember this quote, from G.K. Chesterton:
“Because children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want things repeated and unchanged. They always say, "Do it again"; and the grown-up person does it again until he is nearly dead. For grown-up people are not strong enough to exult in monotony. But perhaps God is strong enough to exult in monotony. It is possible that God says every morning, "Do it again" to the sun; and every evening, "Do it again" to the moon. It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike; it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never got tired of making them. It may be that He has the eternal appetite of infancy; for we have sinned and grown old, and our Father is younger than we.”
My routine looks like this:
-Wake up, shower/dress, prayer time
-Kitchen duty: put dishes away, start and eat breakfast, feed Marie in highchair, pack L's lunch
Clean up from breakfast and do many one small chore while M plays
-Play time: The early mornings are really the best for my family to get out of the house. M is still napping in the late morning, so I try to get out of the house between 830 and 1030. This often includes: Mass, the gym, a playdate/mom's group,the park, errands/grocery store, or even a simple walk around the block.
-Home for lunch and nap time. During nap time I usually eat and do dishes, and then free time for myself. (reading, doing some education/writing, sewing, FB time)
-M wakes up, nurses and has snack. I do a MoMo task or two and M plays.
Play time with M or I work on other errands int he afternoon or we go out and about.
By 4, I like to be home and starting dinner and feeding M by 5 or 530.
Everyday, I try to shower, wear something nice (ie, not yoga pants or pajamas all day, but a top, bottom and one accessory and a little makeup.) I feel 100 times better when I do this small little step. If I am dressed, I will be happy to go for a walk, to the library for story time, or even study something. Wearing sweats all day, for me, is extremely demotivating and I rarely get much done on these days. If that is not an issue for you, do what works!
Read, call a friend, take a break, and pray each day!
#3: Let go of control
Last winter, I had a really hard time leaving the house. Sure, a large factor was the polar vortex hitting the country, but part of it was a mix of my laziness combined with my need for control in the house. I have not yet solved this little riddle, but I am getting better.
What do I mean?
I hate leaving the house when it is a mess. i have walking in to a living room strewn with laundry/toys/books that M pulled out, etc. I hate walking in and seeing my dining room table cluttered. I hate walking in and seeing dirty dishes lying in the sink.
And for many months, my hatred for these things kept me from being social and going out of the house. Story time is at 9:45 a few times a week (at different locations) but if I woke up late or had a lazy morning, breakfast dishes were not done and the living room was usually already a mess of toys. This frazzled me, and we would not make it to story time (or many mom's groups.) I finally decided: ENOUGH. If I have to come back to an untidy house, so be it! My daughter deserves to see other kids, hear stories, run around outside.
I have finally given up on having an perfectly tidy house, and we are enjoying summer and playing so much more because of it.
#4 Plan Ahead
This is mostly in terms of meals. At the beginning of each week, watch the sales and make a menu and shop according to what you have on hand and what is on sale. Knowing what you will make each night, and having a rotating plan for lunches is a serious life saver and peace-keeping trick in our house. Also, don't be surprised that you find that you spend a lot of time in the kitchen either planning or cooking and cleaning up. :)
#5 Use social media wisely.
I am a sucker for facebook. I am part of a few "mom's groups" and I have made friends and learned so much from being a part of these. However, if I do not set time limits on myself, the day can easily slip by where I have spent too much time online. Remember your baby will only be small once, and the time you spend playing and enjoying her/them is an eternal investment, whereas conversing online is not. I'm not saying to cut it out, but just be diligent on how and when to use it. If you find you are connecting more with your online friends than those in real life, or not calling friends and family, reevaluate.
#6 Don't forget your own interests.
to be continued!
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